Announcing the the winners of the Bad Seeds Contest!

To coincide with the launch of Gregbo Watson’s Bad Seeds, our final installment in #NeonMonsters month, we launched another writing contest — and the results are in!

NeonMobsters were tasked with the challenge of writing a sufficiently scary, off-the-chain name and 300-character-or-less description for this piece:


The top winner gets a complete set of all the Bad Seeds sketch variants — and we’ve decided to reward runners-up with a variant of our choice!

Without further ado, our first runner up comes from Doctor Graph (@doctorgraph) and is about Bubba & Bobba Sawyer:

These siamese twins dwell the necropoles chopping off the heads of the living who intervene with their personal hobby; fashioning trophies and keepsakes from exhumed bones and skin.

Our second runner up is Alyssa Nicoll (@alyssa) with the morbid origin tale of Tim & Dan:

Tim and Dan have a connection that goes all the way back to birth. The only thing they remember of their mother, was her dying screams as they entered the world.

Our third runner up is Jay Wu (@jay.d.wu) with this simple ode to the lasting love of Bonnie and Cleave:

The only thing this renegade couple fights over is who gets the first slice.

And finally, the winner of the Bad Seeds contest is Zachary Nicoll (@turtleguyy), who brought us some original poetry with the story of Jack and Jill:

Jack and Jill went up the hill

To do the bidding of their master.

Jack knew how to kill and so he will,

And Jill shrieked with laughter.

A king Jack found and put to ground,

While Jill went round the castle.

They put to bed in a pool of red

All the kin without hassle.

Congrats to all of our winners, and a huge thank you to everyone that participated!